Thursday, January 10, 2013
The root of disappointment was planted by the seed of expectation. I was going to write about waiting, or patience today, but just couldn't seem to quite get in the mood for it. All of you that know me, already know that one of my life lessons is patience. So, I'm not going to lead the cow down to that trough (well, at least not today LOL). But, earlier I was doing some chores and putting together some single serve meals to freeze for my 95 year old mother-in-law, and I thought, "This is not what I expected to be doing today. What happened to that time I was setting aside to do artsy-crafty stuff?" And, what had been an ok activity disappeared into a haze of disappointment, a slightly feeling sorry for myself kind of moment. And THAT, my peepsies, turned into about an hour and a half's worth of looking back over a lot of my expectations. I turned 60 this year. I am not where I expected to be in my life. I had EXPECTED to be getting ready to retire, traveling more, seeing my kids and grandkid more, spending more time with my soon to be 80 year old mom. I had expected never to get into this bad a physical condition again (having done this twice before and making some very serious, but now, broken vows to that effect). And it just wasn't the good stuff that I expected. Hubby and I have had some setbacks thru life (who hasn't?) but I got into the habit of expecting the other shoe to drop. You know, just waiting for the next bad thing. I think a lot of us have done this. I have been working on this particular one pretty hard. I have found that if I am always expecting something bad to happen that I can be pretty good at manifesting that. Also, it brings a lot of worry and I am not enjoying my life at the moment. I have found that when I am in that expecting type of place that I am not here, not now. I am living in some daydream of how the future is going to be, most of the time without putting a lot of thought into what needs to get done to have those expectations met. I am not only missing out on all the great things that I do have going, but I am setting myself up for future disappointment. Crazy, huh? Yeah, I know. Well, I am a work in progress and most of the time a pretty good optimist. I will let this expectation part of myself go. It will take a lot off of my shoulders and make my day to day life easier. Well, I still have some food to freeze so I had better get at it. Made a family favorite, JuicyBurgers. I expect my mother-in-law will really like it........oops!